Neo Armageddon Evangelist (THE WORST)
by wrono
Summary: youre gonna wanna see this... I DIDNT WRITE THIS, IM JUST SPREADING THE CANCER IN ITS 'PUREST' FORM. think of My Immortal. but Eva. and worse. (warnings inside - theres a lot, im sorry)


PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT MINE - I DID NOT WRITE THIS. im just spreading this in its "purest" form.  
WARNINGS: graphic depictions of rape and other sexual misconducts, violence, blood, gore/guro, pedophilia, possible incest, random bouts of broken japanese, a shitty self-insert-mary-sue-oc, a blatant misunderstanding of the source material, and all around bad writing.  
as you were soldiers.

A/N: This fanfic deals with some pretty sick shit. Sorry. This was a product of watching Natural Born Killers, The Doom Generation, and The Matrix waaaaay too much. Still, I hope you like the fic. It's possibly the most psychotic and evil things you'll ever read. Plus I'm gonna make this ONE PART, so that you don't have to read through a lot of boring prose to get to the story. It's one of my least favorite things about reading EVA fanfics – THEY'RE TOO FUCKING LONG!  
Thanks goes to my neurotic Jewish friend, who gave me the idea for this fanfic.  
It's about time someone made a FEMALE original character, huh? And one that's not a complete annoying peckerhead, like DJ or Issei. Sublime with rock your world! She's kicks ass  
As for Washington… Go ahead and hate him :-P

Gendo glared nonchalantly at the pulsating form of Lilith suspended high above all, nailed to a cross bearing a resemblance to a Neo-Jesus Christ. He smirked wickedly as his musings of grandeur took full effect of his mind.  
Gendo Ikari would be a God. Forget Seele's solution to mankind's falsified evoltion. He would buy himself a ticket to the kingdom of heaven and divide and conquer. His excitement was overwhealming.  
"You are happy," said Kaworu, who glared at him with beguiled interest.  
"Sorry, Kaworu-kun. No, Tabris. You must forgive my interest in this project."  
"Yes, it appears Lilim are easily amused."  
Gendo cackled slightly and let his eyes stead over the ashen-headed boy for a bit longer. "I appreciate your offer to aid me in my quest. It is most acknowledged."  
"The domination of the Garden of Eden?" Kaworu mused.  
"Yes. With the seventeenth angel at hand, we will undermine our superiors and claim victory. Now… let us proceed." Gendo smirked as he brought out a small dagger from his back pocket, shining in the gaze of Lilith.  
"Hai. Gendo-sama, please be gentle..." he said as he unrolled his shirt sleeve and exposed his ghostly white arm to the supervisor. Gendo brought the blade to his flesh and cut delicately on the skin, letting the blood drain and fall the floor.  
"Now… unite this sacrifice for the womb of Lilith."  
Kaworu nodded in accordance and quickly lept from the ground and levitated to the behemth. His hands ran over the bubbling body of the creature as the blood trickled down into the beast's downward portions. A roar erupted from Lilith, a womanly cry. Kaworu smiled at the shriek.  
"It is time."  
A creature, not quite human, but not angel in the slightest sense, melded with the flesh of Lilith, appeared from the underbelly of the beast. It cried out, it's body just beginning to take form, take shape, become HUMAN. It's red eyes glared nefariously to those below.  
People change. Time passes. Things would never be the same again. The end is near. Prepare yourself for the third impact.

\- - - = = = = = = - - -  
by:  
Sara Anne Grantham  
[evil bisexual redhead of black leather and kinky penmanship]

Asuka was lying on the hospital bed, oblivious to all and everything. Nothing met her eyes. She was a zombie to her current coma. She was in a complete daze with no deliverence. God looked down upon her now, but with a more malicious glaze.  
The man seemed to waltz in. He was overweight, wearing a brown bowler hat and green sweater. He smiled generously to the unsuspecting nurses and they were all kind to his situation. He was able to mimic a German accent, allowing them to know that he was the surviving father of Asuka. He smirked at his own accomplishments.  
"Asuka… Asuka… wake up, you fucking zombie! I want to see your face alive before I kill you."  
She didn't stir as he squeezed her ripe breast fiercly, pinching each nipple until they were like marbles. She didn't even move when he spat on his fingers, rubbing the sticky saliva all over his hands, and slid her fingers in her eager cunt. He fingered the comatose girl for what seemed like five or ten miutes before giving up.  
"Fuck it. Feel lucky that I won't rape a dead girl, bitch!" He then drew his gun, embedded with a profiencent silencer, and pressed the barrel to her temple. With the pull of a trigger, her head was nothing but a silent dead lump of flesh.  
"Thank you love." He said as he wrought up her eyeballs and placed them into his pockets. He left, giving the nurses a full ten minutes before they found Asuka's inert body, lying in a sea of her own blood and brain matter.  
What was worst of all is that the doctor's later theorized that Asuka had become fully awake before she died, yet did not have the time to scream.

Rei was also lying on her dead, naked, but not in a coma. She mused on her current revival. Some could easily call her a modern-day Frankenstein. But why bother? She was all but dead anyway. Her dreams told her so, taunting her with the information. couldn't imagine why, since she did not fear death, only yearned to accept it. As if on cue, the door to her shabby apartment opened and in stepped a man, wearing a brown hat of some sort, a green seater, a ragged trenchcoat, and faded blue jeans. His face was pinched with age, rei guessed he was in his sixties. His shoulder-length hair was silver, the same color of his eyes. In his hand was a small gun.  
"Are you the man of Seele, Washington Blasmov?" Rei asked.  
"Yes. You know a lot, girlie." The man named Washington said. He cocked a grin which made his old features seem more wrinkled. He wrapped his body around his trenchcoat and sniggered.  
"The dreams say you are the one to kill you." Rei said calmly.  
"Do they tell you I want something else as well?"  
"You want what some people call "a quick fuck". I've never done that sort of thing."  
"I want you. If you promise to be good, I may make your death painless."  
"Take me then….."  
Washington was quick to throw off his hat, coat, and rip away at his shirt. It was not long before they were both naked and free under the dim light of Rei's lamp. The two eloped harshly on Rei's clogged bed.  
The sex was fierce, hurtful, and full of blood and pain. But Rei didnot scream. She enjoyed the torture before death. It was fitting that this would be her way.  
As Washington came, he smiled nicely and said "Thank you love. Now..." He pressed the gun between her eyes and blew her brains on the walls. And he couldn't stop laughing.

COMING  
COMING OUT  
COMING OUT OF OBLIVION!  
The girl shrieked as her body convulsed spasmodically. She was strapped down to a bed by leather straps, her body draped in black robes which could have passed for a Reaper's, if not for the face that it was without a hood and fit more snugly on her rather volumptuous body. Her white hair, white face, red eyes. They were the features of an angel. Also, she knew of the oncoming hellstorm. She knew of the THIRD IMPACT which threatened mankind. She knew of it, and had to stop it before it was too late.  
"I am Sublime…." she muttered as her strength disposed of the straps easily, flinging them onto the floor. An energy bomb erupted from her body as he found herself eloped with a green aura. Her body was moving, TELEPORTING, toward the home of the one who she would have to eliminate to evolve humanity naturally. She could not allow the man called Gendo to rape humanity as he pleased. No. She would stop him. Him, and his bitch, the one called Tabris, Kaworu Nagisa…  
"I AM SUBLIME! I WILL DESTROY, KEEL LORENZ!"  
And with that, her body had phased into nothing.

The door of the Katsuragi residence was easy enough to kick down. Various screams and holler came from both Shinji Ikari and Misato Katsuragi, both targets on his agenda. Washington giggled at the sight of them, both at first just sitting complacently and humdram, watching some crappy show on TV, then looking at the man who had just killed two of their peers.  
"What do you want?!" cried Misato as he held them at gunpoint. She was currently wearing a really short tank-top and equally short shorts which exposed a small portion of her hidden passion. Washington gleamed evily at the two of them. Shinji was practically pissing his pants, holding his hands in the air with tears pouring from his eyes.  
"Get together..." Washington mummered. "I want to watch this."  
"Watch what?" Shinji cried.  
"Get naked, both of you. I want to see you fuck."

As Sublime, the beautiful ashen-haired vixen draped in Death-garb and roaring into Seele's office like a bat out of hell, entered the office of Keel Lorenz, much commotion was set about. Keel himself looked unamused by the girl walking into his office, treating her as a standard bit of opposition, underestimation her awe-inspiring power. Two guards, dressed in black suits and dark shades, stepped out from the sides and attempted to tackle her.  
Sublime smirked as she sent her fist into the bulky one's jaw, setting loose a gurgle of blood and a few teeth spitting out from his mouth. The other one, a tall, lanky faggy-looking one popped out and tried punching her but a swift kick in the groin, followed by a punch to the underbelly solved that problem, making him fall to the floor. The bulky one then regained his footing and leaped at Sublime, but she only sidestepped the attack with ease and reached into his hostler with leopard like speed. She found his gun, a beautiful beautiful revolver, and shoved it in his face, laughing at the pull of the trigger and the large, gaping hole lunged in the man's forehead, spewing blood all over his shirt and the recently cleaned carpet. The fag, after pissing his pants, made a valiant effort to run away, but Sublime giggled as she turned around and blew the back of his head open with a single bullet.  
Keel was beside himself. He howled in the anguish of having his best men killed by this simple girl and began slamming his fist on the securuity button. Sublime responded to this by aiming to revolver directly at his hand blasting away his entire hand by shooting it at the wrist. Keel scowled in pain, grabbing at the bloody stump. Sublime responded by this pitiful retort with tsk, tsk, tsk…  
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… you shouldn't try that. Besides, all of your men are dead. I took care of them with my bare hands." She emphasized this by raising her two hands before the old man, each one stained with blood and entrails. Red crust corrded her sharp nails.  
"WHAT… IS… THIS…?"  
"Simple. Both you and Nerv are vieing for the evoltion of man. God does not approve of your actions, you INTERVENTIONS of society and divinity. So I was called upon to take your wormy asses out. You see, Nerv originally created me in hopes of using me as a secret weapon, one which could make Gendo Ikari a God by bringing about the death of the natural and true one. But, ahh…. Things don't work out that way. A child of Lilith will always be a child of Lilith, no matter what others tell you. So… I refuse to use my powers for Gendo. A shame, too, since some of his ideals aren't too dodgey. I must also preserve the lives of the children, who shall merge with Lilith in a divine circle which will open heaven for all, allowing mankind to be judged as one."  
Keel could only laughed feeby. "Ha, ha! It's too late. I've already ordered the extermination of Nerv! Our best man… Washington… That sick motherfucker…. He's out killing all of the children now. Your plan has failed!"  
Her face did not change. "Washington, eh? What a shitty name. I'm sure he won't be a problem."  
Then suddenly, without any priot warning, Keel hopped from his seat and produced an arm of his own, a nice gun which looked brand new. Three bullets were fired, all aimed at Sublime's face and chest. "DIE BITCH!" he screamed.  
Sublime smiled as a violent AT Field enveloped her body as stopped the bullets in mid-air. The she began laughing heartily as she redirected the bullets toward Keel's body, letting them wrir back at breakneck speed. They each landed at an individual place – one in his shoulder, one in his gut, the other in his balls. Blood spewed out his his four wounds, the old man wobbling for help.  
"A-A-Angel…." He cried.  
"No, I'm something much worse…" Sublime claimed.  
"You'll… Never… Stop…. Washington…. He's… Our… Best…."  
"Shut up, old man. I hope you suffer a great deal before you die." she said as she turned her back on the dying wretch and closed the door behind her.

Misato, now naked and moaning like the cheap whore she was, was no impaled by Shinji's flimsy erection. Washington had laughed heartily at the boy's puny cock, and Shinji's responsive blushing had made it even more ideal. The two were now fucking madly now, seeming to enjoy the release of repressed passion more by the second. This was sinful, they both knew, but convienently, they were being forced into the situation. Shame it would be the last pleasure they would ever grow acustom to.  
"Misato, moan louder, yet softer. Shinji, rub those tits, boy. Make her nipples hard." Washington commanded. As expected, the two of them acted accordingly. Washington continued to masturbate to the joyful sight, until all three of them came at the same time. The two lovers plopped on top of one another and rest earnestly.  
"Thank you, love. You too, Shinji..." He delivered his famous last night as he pulled his gun from his back holster and shot Misato between her enourmous breasts, shattering her chest and destroying her heart. Shinji screamed as the next bullet ment fror him met with his throat, killing his screams. The next blew his skull to ribbons, leaving nothing but exposed grey matter.  
"I'm too late…" said a desperate voice behind him. Washington smiled as he turned around and saw the beautiful girl behind him. She looked a good deal the that Rei bitch, but her body was more full (she just *had* to be a D cup! Washington thought to himself) and hair was white, plus she wore a black robe that made her look utterly fucking evil. In one hand she held a revolver, the other she sported a nice looking pistol. Both looked as if they had spilled blood before.  
"And who the fuck are you?" Washington asked as he began cleaning the jism dripping from his recently spent penis.  
"Call me Sublime. But you could also call me DEATH!" She said this as she raised the pistol and aimed it at his melon shaped head.  
"I never knew Death was such a sexy chick," Washington said with a lecherous grin as he zipped himself up.  
"Fuck you," She calmly said at the squeeze of the trigger. In that instant, Washington instantly hit the floor, rolled out the way, and crouched behind a couch. He took his pistol in hand and chanced a look behind him. Sublime was smart, she was currently using the door as a shield from the bullets. Washington released a warning shot into the cieling, which was used as a decoy as he crawled behind his hiding place. He then chanced another shot, into her leg. It was met with crimson satisfaction, Sublime reached downward at the wound and swore as Washington ran to the window. Sublime reacted quickly, shooting his back accordingly, twice at the shoulder blade. He laughed at the insignificant wounds and crashed through the window. Sublime ran toward the broken opening and glared downward as the fat assassin landed in a heap of garbage, returned to his footing, and ran off into the night.  
"FUCK!" she cried as he ran away. A voice behind her, soothing and melodic, struck a chord as it spoke. "Watch that tongue of yours, child of Lilith. Our Father would not approve of such language."  
Sublime looked behind her. It was Kaworu Nagisa.

Gendo sat behind his desk, motionless, staring off into space.  
His plan was according to schedule. With his opposition taken care of, and the girl acting according to his scenario, all would be won soon. The fax describing Keel Lorenz's tragic demise at the hand of Sublime had brought tears to Gendo's eyes. Such beauty… now the cosmos were within his grasp, and as the supreme god-being, he would take them.  
The telephone rang, and awakened from his daze, Gendo dilligently responded.  
"Moshimoshi…. Desu ka?"  
"Shinji's dead. So is Misato. All targets eliminated. Now for the final phase of our deal."  
"Yes, it's all taken care of. He's yours."  
"Mind if I barge through Nerv myself?"  
"By all means, do it."

"You son of a bitch! Betarying your own kind!" Sublime spouted out as reloaded her pistol.  
"Sublime-chan, please. Hear me out. It was not my bidding to manufater you to betray anyone. I knew of you true nature. The child of Lilith is destined to be a true maverick."  
"Is that so?" She spat at the idea.  
"Please, you must listen. You were wrought from my blood. You are my love…"  
He eyes widened. "Excuse me? So… I am a part of you?"  
"Yes, my love."  
"Then you ARE my destined one." She said this as she cupped Kaworu's cheeks in her hands and kissed him passionately on the lips, as she pressed her firm body on his, holding him tightly. He returned the kiss and held her just as urgently. The shared their passion for a brief moment before they returned to their former, serious selves and continued the discussion of the situation.  
Kaworu smiled, "Together, we shall undermine the plan of Gendo Ikari. He is unaware of the fact that his plan is going downhill, despite his belief that it is likewise."  
"Really?" Sublime said. "Then who was that creepy ass bastard with the voyueristic nature?"  
"That was Seeles's top assassin, Washington. He may be a sharpshooter, but he's nothing but a sick pervert. He's done away with all the children. Only you and I are left."  
"So, where do we go from here?"  
"My guess? Nerv headquarters. Washington will be anxious to reunite with Fuyutsuki."

Kozo Fuyutsuki scattered around his office, all-knowing of who was the cause of the blaring gunfire heard from outside. His twisted bastard brother, Washington…  
The door to Kozo's office was kicked from it's hinges, and directly entering like a smirking jackal was Washington. His eyes gleamed with blood and malice. His guns were smoking. Kozo exhaled deeply and gulped down his fear. The terror of this moment had always lingered in Kozo's mind, but it's realiztion had not be completely known until now.  
"Kozo! Darling! How are you today?" He chuckled as he said this, the sick fuck.  
"Washington, no! Please! I-I'm sorry I turned you in, please! Please! It hurt, Washington! It fucking HURT!"  
Washington cocked a grin and glared at his snivelling brother. "Don't worry, there's no hard feelings. I just want you to do it again… That's all I came here for. To see if you're still as good and tasty as you were 50 years ago…"  
"NO! Anything but that! NO NO NO!"  
"Oh, Yessssss! Step right up, Kozo-my boy. I have something for you."  
Kozo directed his attention to the plastic bag that he had been carrying with him all this time. Though it was stained with blood, Kozo knew what contents were inside. Washington chuckled as he opened the bag, and inside was a prized possession – a pretty, pink dress. It looked as if it were straight from Sunday School, something you would imagine Little Bo-Peep in. And it was just Kozo's size.  
"Wear this dress, and let me fuck you up the ass again..."  
"GOD NO PLEASE GOD NO!"  
"God can't hear you now, Kozo…"

"Holy shit..." Sublime commented as she glared at the desolation and corpses. "How could one man do all this?"  
"This Washington. Washington's known for leaving nothing but a path of corpses to follow him by."  
Silence echoed through the halls, until the faint panting of fucking struck through the still air. Both of them heard, and first thought it was a figment of their imagination. But it was not long begore they realized that it was as real as rain, and coming from the office of Kozo Fuyutsuki. A sick look of disgust passed over Sublime's face.  
"What could they be DOING?!"  
"Washington was sent to a mental ward at the age of 10 for raping Kozo while wearing his mother's dress. He's a serious wacko, Sublime. You have to understand this."  
"Yes, yes, but…. CHRIST!"  
Simeltaneously, they both rushed into the office. Sublime held her guns to her bosom as she practically leaped in the small room. Kozo was bent of his desk, wearing a pretty pink dress, having Washington, pantsless and panting, fucking him doggie-style. Washington seemed oblivious to everything, and Sublime was prepared to end it all with a bullet to the back of his head, but Washington interupted his thought with a gun of his own. He pressed the barrel of the pistol to the back of Kozo's head as he continued his little fling.  
"Wait a moment..." Washington panted. "I want to finish this before I kill you, bitch."  
Finally, Washington threw his head back in orgasm and yelled in pleasure. He then bent forward and whispered in Kozo's ear "Thank you, love..." With that, he sent a bullet into the whimpering bastard's head.  
That was the drawing line for Sublime. With the instinct of a leopard, she leaped onto the desk and began blasting Washington. However, the man was clver and ducked beneath another desk, drawing his pistol and aiming at her from below. He shot twice, but missed, leaving him at the mercy of his prey. Sublime kicked the desk over and sent an elbow into Washington's face. This attack sent him back, only for him to report with a headbutt. Dazed and confused, Sublime staggered back, but still had enough vigor to thrust forward and kick Washington's hand. His hand went limp and dropped the gun.  
"BITCH!"  
"I've been called worse." Sublime smirked as she aimed directly at Washington's head and squeezed the trigger, letting his head explode like a melon as the bullet made contact.  
Kaworu then slithered beside her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she leaned forward into his chest and began to weep. He carried her out of the office, into the restroom, where her tears continued to pour like rain.  
"Poor darling. Your heart is fragile like glass, despite you fierce demenor." Kaworu sat her down on the porcelin sink as he wet a rag to wash her face with. As he was in the middle of this seemingly bothersome action, his hand was graped his Sublime's own blood stained one. She took his hand into hers and manuervered it onto her body, letting the free palm caress her neck, face, and breast. Kaworu ignored the running water and came to her, grasping her with all of his strength, kissing her, running his hands over her body, allowing her to do likewise. It was a flicker of motion, each aiding the other to remove their clothes. Each playing the master or servant.  
"We must merge." Kaworu claimed.

"The time has come." Gendo said as he pawed at the form of Lilith. He had released her breast, letting her caress him as she pleased. She was fucking him without fucking him – her cumbersome body merging with his. He was becoming God now, and the fate of all the worlds in all the galaxies would soon be his. Destiny was his to control.

"To merge would bring the death of our mother. We must do it." Sublime said, smiling slightly.  
And they did. Kaworu was quick to thrust himself into Sublime's succulent virginity. They were giving themselves to each other for the first time, each acting as a guide for the other. When they came, it was fire, wind, and all of the elements rush toward them in a single tital wave.

Gendo had lost. The merging of Lilith and Gendo ceased, without warning. They were apart of the same creature, yes, but Lilith was not an empty husk of death. The smell of rot and decay corroded Gendo's senses, filling his nostrils with the brimming puke smell of death. He shuddered convulsively as he shouted to the heavens, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" It was only a mater of moments, before he died along with his beloved Lilith. Both of them no longer the creatures they once were, now mere shells of their former selves.

The two lovers, enwrapped naked in each other's arms, lie on the floor of the desolate bathroom. Their breathe was solid relief, and all of the worries were now over. The Battle to regain evolution was over, and gendo Ikari had lost. Mankind would remain as the simians they were – for better or worse. All was won.  
"It is time to go, my darling."  
"Yes."  
Before Sublime's earthbound self died along with Tabris to retreat to the holy divinity above, she recollected a quote from Roger Browning. It claimed "God's in his Heaven. All's right with the world." Truer words have never been spoken.

The End.


End file.
